| e-If! (with thanks to Mr Kipling) | The original by Rudyard Kipling (Author of The Jungle Book & so much more). |
| If you get scammed by spam when all about you Have firewalls to filter out the crooks. If led astray by men who seek you out, you Prove the dupe of those who’d cook your books. If you rush in instead of hesitating, Because the email had you hypnotised, And take the hook the conmen have been baiting, For greedy fools who’ll reach to grab the ‘prize’. If you get scammed – and still believe the bastards, Accepting without question what they claim Until you meet with Internet disasters When someone clones your credit card and name. Or wait in vain for dodgy goods you’ve ordered, From swine who weave a tangled web for fools, Suspecting, if they ever cross the borders, The thoroughbreds you ordered will be mules. If you can make one pile of all their winnings And post them in one cheque – and damn the cost, Lose all, and find it hard to keep on grinning, Resenting every cent and second lost. If you approach the customs or the coast guard To save the day when all your money’s gone Yet never hear a word nor get a postcard And wish you’d listened when advised “Hold On!” If neither gold nor glitz can tempt or hurt you, Nor fantasies of fortune make you dense. If you can skip past scams and keep your shirt, you Might at last develop common sense. Then, you could find the unforgiving minute Is no more costly than your broadband time. Enjoy the web, but don’t trust all that’s in it Then, if you’re lucky, you’ll be safe on-line. | If you can keep your head when all about you |