Games Therapists Play

C+G=R=>S=>X=>P

Berne's basic game formula

Eric Berne, the originator of Transactional Analysis, recognised that many (most?) of our interactions, reactions and transactions have structures, processes and rules that are identical to the rules of ordinary games such as chess or football, and also have similar patterns to those used by confidence tricksters:

'The con hooks into a gimmick (C+G), so that the respondent responds (R). The player then pulls the switch (S), and that is followed by a moment of confusion, or crossup (X), after which both players collect their payoffs (P).'

Berne’s example of two possible conversations between therapist and client
Game	Process	Not a Game
Client: 'Do you think I'll get better, doctor?' Th: 'Of course you'll get better.' Client: 'What makes you think you know everything?'	Con = original question	Client: ‘Will I get better, doctor? Th: 'In all probability, if we work well together. Client: 'Thank you.'
	Gimmick = therapist's sentimentality
	Response = 'Of course you'll get better.'
	Switch = 'What makes you think you know everything?"
	X = therapist's confusion
	Payoffs = therapist's frustration and the patient's elation at conning her!

 

Payoffs are the negative, painful, energy sapping, hurtful and hateful thoughts, feelings and behaviours that we feel after running through the Game yet again!

Games are ways of structuring time to satisfy our needs for stimulous, recognition, structure, safety, belonging, validation, and so on. Games are also survival strategies learnt in childhood. To a more or less degree, we all play some Games.

You know that you are indulging in Games if you feel

o       anxious or, reluctant or frustrated before a client’s arrival

o       stuck, angry, de-skilled, stupid or powerless during the session

o       drained, resentful or reactive after the session

Games are systemic. The client’s survival patterns might ‘hook’ into our patterns in such a way that we create a recursive symbiosis that reinforce the limiting beliefs and perpetuate inhibiting patterns inside and outside the therapeutic, counselling, coaching context.

Time structuring

To understand Berne's idea of time structuring, we first have to understand the hungers he identifies.

Hungers

What Berne terms 'hungers' we would perhaps more conventionally refer to as 'needs' or 'drives'.

Stimulus hunger

Also referred to as 'sensation hunger', this is the need to seek out stimulating situations. As Berne puts it, this is why roller coasters make money and why prisoners will do whatever they can to avoid solitary confinement. Social interaction itself is thus seen as the gratification of stimulus hunger.

In this connection Berne quotes the example of rats reared in a state of sensory deprivation. They were reared either in total darkness or with a light constantly on. Later in their lives, in cages with normally reared rats, they would not go to food in a maze if it was placed on a plain background. They would go to food only if it was placed on a checkered background. Normal rats would go to the food in either case. This seems to suggest, says Berne, that the need for stimulation is every bit as innate as the need for food.

Recognition hunger

This is the quest for other kinds of sensations which can only be supplied by other human beings or, perhaps, by animals. We seek personal recognition from other individuals. As Berne says, this is why monkeys are not simply satisfied with milk, but also need the smell and warmth and touch of mothering. (Presumably, in taking this example, Berne is thinking of Harlow's experiments with wire-frame monkeys.)

Structure hunger

This is the need for us to create order and be a part of social structures. That is why we form groups and why groups tend to grow into organizations

'Hungers' and 'needs'

You can probably see how these hungers relate to the needs identified by other theorists and researchers. For example, Maslow's 'social needs' correspond approximately to Berne's sensation hunger; recognition hunger corresponds roughly to 'esteem needs'. It's not so easy to see an equivalence for structure hunger, but it may perhaps be seen as a combination of social and esteem needs, perhaps something like the 'affiliation needs' identified by McLelland and many other researchers.

By 'time-structuring', Berne refers to the perennial problem of social interactions, which is encapsulated in his book's title What do you say after you say hello? Structure-hunger impels us to structure the time we spend with others. 'Nothing,' he says, 'is more uncomfortable than a social hiatus, a period of silent, unstructured time when no one present can think of anything more interesting to say than: "Don't you think the walls are perpendicular tonight?" The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his (sic) waking hours.' (Berne (1968))

Berne identifies four classifications for the short-term structuring of time:

•  withdrawal
•  rituals
•  activities
•  pastimes
•  games
•  scripts

Let's take a look at each of those:

Withdrawal

This is the case at one extreme. People do not communicate, individuals remain wrapped in their own thoughts. This might be the case on the bus, or in a doctor's waiting room, for example.

Rituals

Rituals are very stylized transactions. They may be what we normally call rituals, i.e. something very formal like a wedding ceremony, or they may be quite informal, but nevertheless completely predictable - 'Morning' - 'Morning, how are you?' - 'All right thanks. How are you?' and so on.

Activities

These are normally known as work. The transactions are determined by the material being dealt with - concrete, wood, mathematical problems etc. - and are typically Adult-to-Adult.

Pastimes

These transactions are generally very formulaic, like rituals, but less stylized and predictable. They're the kind of thing you might come across at a party or similar social event.

Games

Games are a form of pseudo-intimacy. They enable us to get close without real intimacy, which creates the risk of being hurt.

Scripts

These transactions and paradigms that keep us running on habit, either over long periods – a loveless marriage that goes on for decades – or for brief moments; the surge of anger every time some one doesn’t say ‘good morning’.