Challenging Myths and Perceptions

The following testimonial sums up exactly what I hope people will take away from training, coaching or consultancy.

Many people experience my training being unlike any they've ever been on.
For some, my manner, style, approach, strategy and philosophy does not meet their expectations, or the difference is so extreme, challenging and uncomfortable that they succumb to what I consider the greatest addiction of all: The Call to Comfort!

My approach has developed and evolved after many years of empirical and anecdotal evidence that a lot trainees attend training that leaves no lasting impression and has little, if any, subsequent effect.

When I conducted ‘conventional’ training, I used to stand and deliver, have role plays, case studies, quick fix ‘solutions’.  Exercises were intended to make or prove a point, or to reinforce my personal conviction, or to offer the tried and tested benefit of my experience.

Eventually, it dawned on me that I was trying to fit people into my mind-set, as if that were a magic formula!

In those days, my training was a lot more comfortable, and probably a whole lot blander! But comfort was a poor trade-off for the kind of experience described below.

And vice-versa! To get the kind of outcome celebrated in the testimonial, people need to let go of habits and patterns of thinking. Now, my intention and attention is directed toward that outcome. This is undeniably challenging and uncomfortable because it’s always personal; it’s always about the people in the room.

Inevitably, I can’t and don’t reach everyone, and I can feel a tad disappointed about that, but it prompts me to continue developing my skills and striving to practice what I preach.  However, it is reassuring to hear about the kind of effect described in the testimonial and in the collated feedback.

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Here’s the testimonial for the Challenging Myths and Perceptions training day (Feb 2010) with Michael.

I found the training unlike any I’d ever been on. From the beginning we were all engaged in actively thinking about the thoughts, attitudes and forms of behavior we engage in and how our identities and beliefs so influence these. We weren’t given a ‘to do list’ or magic formula to sort out the problems of the world (or in this case the racist or bigoted views people hold) but rather challenged to try understand and so engage these people in meaningful conversation in an attempt to share some common ground and then tackle the task of helping to form new beliefs and perceptions, which in turn will affect behaviour.

The training challenged me to take responsibility for my part in any reactions to different views from my own. This will affect not just my working situation but my personal life as well, in particular my interactions with my wife and daughter. The training was tailor made to our group - focusing on issues we were raising.

My colleagues too, though jealous they couldn’t be there, have benefitted tremendously from the post course notes.

Extremely worthwhile… a definite eye opener!

Thanks so much to Michael Mallows and the Interchange Team.

Project Worker

Racial Equality Project

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Collated feedback from the Challenging Myths & Perceptions workshop mentioned above.
It was organised by CVS in East London for delegates from various concerned charities,

and funded by Train to Gain scheme under the auspices of Interchange Trust .

1. What aspects of the workshop did you find useful and why?

• Values, Beliefs, confrontation and need for action

• All of it

• Group discussion – Trainer expertise across all areas

• The informal nature – stories and  examples that reinforced all the theory presented

• Responsibility for one’s words and actions in social inclusion

• Interesting discussions on communication theories and peoples’ experiences

• The actual topic the thought process

• I found the caring confrontation theory useful because it thought me a few new things

• The breathing exercise and the part about the eyes

• Interacting with others and hearing others views

• Social awareness

2. In what ways could the workshop be improved upon?

• Nothing to suggest at this point

• More tips on challenging unacceptable behaviour without coming across as challenging

• Accommodation could have been a bit bigger

•  The trainer talked a lot about psychological theories that confused me and I didn’t see the point of that

• Not sure if the focus was made clear to the trainer/ facilitator in advance, but the aim was to explore ways of effectively challenging peoples myths and perceptions and this was not looked at, if this is not covered in part 2 then it will have to be covered another day

• More Practical

• Seating was uncomfortable

• More breathing exercise

• Formal visual aids or presentation pack to take away

3. List three action steps you would like to take as a result of attending this workshop

a)       Apply caring confrontation

·         be more understanding of others

·         Improve my listening skills

·         Try to get Michael to run a session at Harmony house in the future

·         Do something about intimidation of minorities

·         Implement thought process in general life no just the office

·         Ask more questions

·         Understand people better

·         Use some of the processes

·         Deep breathing when in stressful situation

b)

• Pay more attention to views / opinions of others

• Take 100% responsibility for my actions and feelings

•  Not be judgemental

• To take more responsibility for my part in conflict situations

• Come up with ways of challenging ‘-isms’ because people tend to skip the subject and leave the vulnerable to themselves

• Take responsibility

• Accept peoples beliefs

• Turn flip chart to suit me J

• Actively listen to others point of view

c)

•  Find solutions to issues/ problems by applying relevant theories

• Be more open minded

• Respect the views of others but also get my point across

• Identify my place in the victim triangle and how to curb dysfunctional behaviour. Practice more deep breathing

• Think about roles that I might unintentionally assume (victim)?

• Feel confident

• Confront some issues again

4. What are you hoping will happen as a result of taking these steps?

• Feel better about how I work and put what I have learnt into practice

• I am hoping to be less stressed and not take other peoples bad behaviour personally

• To use what I have learnt be more understanding and respectful towards others

• People in my workplace (and I ) will put what we have learnt into practice to become better a listening and communicating- especially in the racial equality project

• Not challenge people or their attitudes in order to confront them but to understand why they behave in that manner and have a better approach of how to deal with it

• I hope that my colleagues from 3^rd sector will become more sensitive and less self –complacent in regards to ‘-isms’ and of awkward situations

• More effective challenging of myths being peddled by BNP, in order to achieve positive results

• Better results

• Do not assume

• Be respectful as a person and a human being

• Encourage others to think

• Be more socially aware of others views

5. From a scale of 1 to 10 how confident and motivated do you feel in taking these steps with 10 being very motivated and confident?

                                         1      2     3     4     5     6(1)    7 (2)   8(4)    9(3)   10(1)

6. Please comment on the effectiveness of the trainer’s style of working.

• Relaxed and people oriented style

• Very efficient – I really enjoyed the training and felt that I gained a lot from it

• Excellent – Including every participant , content was just right

• Very effective

• Very good. I got lost sometimes but overall it was positive

• Very  clever

• Very interesting and understandable

• enables the participant to think

• Excellent