Families That Work and Play Together


 

The left column lists stages of attachment development:

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On the right are ways of responding to indications of attachment difficulties.
Hurtful reactions to a child’s distressed or distressing behaviours are understandable, not least because the adopters' or foster carers' own distress is all too easily restimulated by what the child says and does. But those reactions can reinforce the mistrust, shame, guilt, etc. that underpin the attachment difficulties, thus creating a loop that it's hard to break out of!               
That hurtful loop can be more complex and more painful when the issue of racial difference is factored in, especially if the racial dimension is ignored, denied or discounted.                                      
  Most parents, carers, youth-workers etc., are usually quite good

Child

Carer

Healthy Attachment <  > Attachment Difficulties

Hurtful responses < > Healing responses

Erikson

Mallows