The negative connotations of ‘crafty’ e.g. deviousness and manipulation, under-handedness, deception, cunning or wiliness are countered by such qualities as skillfulness, dexterity, ingenuity, subtlety; surely the very essence of rapport building?
Crafty listening is useful wherever – and with who ever – we choose to take responsibility for what we contribute to the quality and process of our communication.
By actively seeking to understand where other people are ‘coming from’ and where they would like to go, we can facilitate them to express their fears and anxieties or their hopes and disappointments Nottingham escorts. That way, communication and connectedness are more likely to happen. And that, in principle and on purpose, is what crafty listening facilitates.
This is not altruistic self-denial, but enlightened self-interest because – potentially at least – it banishes shadows, helping all parties to see and think more clearly. This serves self and mutual interest, on the premise that ‘we are in it together’, replacing ‘me’ with ‘we’, helps to dismantle barriers and build bridges across differences. That way, together, we can move towards a mutually beneficial and desirable future escorts in Leicester! Maybe we won’t get there, but we can choose to behave with decency and dignity along the way.
Really, what’s to stop us?
- Although we might not be aware of it, every waking moment, we are making three choices.
- We choose what to focus our attention on
- We choose the meaning we’ll ascribe to what we’re focusing on
- We choose what action to take in response to the first two choices
Many people do not know they are making choices because they do not know there is a choice to be made. That is, among other reasons, because practically every breath they breathe, every heart beat, every thought or decision is determined by externals. When we are ‘at the effect of’, we live ‘outside in’!
We believe that we are neither the cause of nor responsible for anything that goes on in our head, heart or gut. We simply react, again and again, in the same old, same old way, endlessly re-running the same old movie, re-telling the same old story, rehearsing the same old script, rehashing the same old hurts, running on habit, repeating the same old mistakes…repeating the same old …repeating the same … repeating … well, you get the idea!
When we feel attacked, or under siege, basically, we have four ways of reacting: fight, flee, freeze or flow. Crafty listening is about flow, about continuous progression, moving freely and being abundantly present! We are in the moment, our minds are focused and we give our full attention, mindfully and respectfully. We feel resourceful, breathe properly, drink enough water and are considerate of the moment, the future, other people and, not least, ourselves.
Indeed, a spirit of abundant presence rather nicely sums up the energy that fuels the crafty listener and the motivation that impels hir. Done well and for benign and abundant reasons, crafty listening encourages other people to be abundantly present so that we can devote energy to co-creating a spirit of abundance in the space that grows between us Peterborough escorts
Extraordinary things, miracles of transformation, even the journey from Hurt to Wholeness, can ensue from such encounters.
Of course, we still have to deal with the reality of people and situations that cause pain and pressure, and the niceties of crafty listening might seem somewhat idealistic. Well, they are and I am idealistic.
As to whether integrity is an optional extra; can you say that you always behave according to your declared principles? That you always speak your truth? When you are looking into a mirror or sitting on the loo, or wide awake as the rest of the world slumbers, can you truthfully say to yourself that you never kept quiet when you needed to speak, that you always ask for what you want even knowing it might be refused? That you behave the way [you say] you’d like the world to be?
What you do is what you teach. Even if others don’t follow your example, they will certainly learn something about you from the way you choose to behave.